How to Avoid Huge Ships
by John W. Trimmer
Let’s set the scene. You’re out for a stroll. Maybe near a port. Maybe not. And suddenly — a huge ship. What do you do?
John W. Trimmer has spent years thinking about this very problem, and in 1993, he decided the world needed answers. The result: How to Avoid Huge Ships, a genuine maritime safety manual that reads like the universe’s most specific life advice.
The book covers scenarios such as navigating narrow channels, understanding ship traffic separation schemes, and — presumably — what to do when you see something very, very large heading your way.
It became an Amazon cult classic not because sailors discovered it, but because everyone else did. The reviews are legendary. One reviewer wrote: “I bought this for my boat, but now I’m afraid to leave the house.” Another: “Finally, a book that addresses my #1 fear.”
The truly remarkable thing is that this book is completely sincere. Trimmer wasn’t in on the joke. He just really, genuinely wanted you to not get hit by a ship.
That dedication is, in its own way, beautiful.
Whether you live near water, hate water, or have simply never considered the logistics of ship-avoidance before, this book will make you feel like you’ve been missing something. You have been. You just didn’t know it had a title.