How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
by Zachary Auburn
The full title is How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives, which tells you everything you need to know and also nothing at all.
Zachary Auburn has written what appears to be a genuine parenting manual, except the child is a cat, and the dangers include both stranger danger and the occult.
The book maintains its deadpan commitment throughout. There are no winks. No nudges. Just earnest, structured advice for the concerned cat owner who worries that Mr. Biscuits might be making some questionable choices while they’re at work.
Is it satire? Almost certainly. Does it read exactly like the pamphlets your school guidance counselor used to hand out? Absolutely. Does that make it funnier or more disturbing? The answer, like your cat’s inner life, remains unknowable.
Perfect gift for cat owners, gun enthusiasts, or anyone who has ever wondered what their pet gets up to on a Tuesday afternoon.